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Thursday, March 6, 2014

You know you're the parent of a medically fragile child when...

- You get asked at least once a week if you are a nurse.

- You have more medical supplies stockpiled in your house than a third world country.

- You constantly get asked "How do you do it?", and you have no clue either.

- Your neighbors think you have an online shopping problem because of all the boxes of medical supplies that get delivered to your doorstep.

- You feel like Norm from Cheers at the local hospital.

- You could get a job writing appeal letters.

- You have legitimately asked if there is somewhere to "plug in" your kid.

- Your child's "babysitters" must be medically certified in some capacity.

- You can pick out the mistakes in medical scenes on TV, and are familiar with all of the machines and terminology.

- Your friends and family ask you for medical advice.

- You schedule trips to the Emergency Room around things you need to do first.

- Your child's doctors take orders from you.

- You have lost count of the number of hospital stays, surgeries and procedures that your child has had and you don't really care to know.

- Your child's bedroom looks like a mini ICU.

- You've spent more hours Googling procedures, conditions and medical terms than sleeping since your child was born.

- You have woken up to a "fed bed" on numerous occasions.

- You have a legitimate pharmacy in your kitchen.

- You take your child directly to the hospital when they're sick, not the pediatrician.

- You consider two consecutive hours of sleep with no machines alarming a huge win.


Aaaaand, last but not least...

- You have become adept at using inappropriate humor to stay somewhat sane!

38 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! I can't relate to every one, but I certainly get the majority! Thanks so much for this.

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  2. Great post! Have read so many "lists" but this captures it all yet in a humorous way. Sharing with family and friends so they get the idea!!!

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  3. Oh I totally relate to ALL of these.... Thanks for this, its perfect! Can I borrow? ~Callie, DJ's mom

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  4. Wow, everyone of these apply to me. I can so relate!

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  5. Amazing. Thank you so much for this. Funny way for parents like us to relate to each other and not feel alone.

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  6. Thank you so much. I laugh so hard about this, its so true

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  7. Simply fantastic and bang on! Thank you I needed the laugh today! :) I have shared it on our page https://www.facebook.com/TheUniqueLifeOfMrB?ref=hl

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  8. What are you doing in my head for the past 11 years? Though ours are fewer and further between than yours these days, I know it so well. Best blog post ever, really. I love you so much, Mama!

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  9. This is so true it's frightening how well I can relate. I always say "No I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a hospital last night"

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  10. This is great!!! I already shared this with a lot of my special needs friends on facebook! You are hilarious! And I can so relate to many of these!!! (My son also has a trach, ventilator, and g-tube. His nightly bed routine takes hours! And he gets hooked up to so many things. Wires and tubes every where!! He even has to wear resting night splints)

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  11. This is the best ever! Thanks for the laugh!

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  12. I love this, best one was reading that I am not the only one who plans (some) ER visits around other stuff. I have felt guilty about this for ages. Thanks!!

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  13. OMG do you have a nanny cam in my daughters i pad............So sad, so true yet so so funny.........Love you Sheri Lysiak................Kiss Kiss

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  14. And we're all up late reading this. LOL Oh the life of us special needs parents. :)

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  15. Yup. And Yup.
    And doncha just HATE "I don't know how you do it!" ?
    lol
    DeeDee
    www.KidNeedsAKidney.blogspot.com

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  16. I needed a laugh this morning! Everyone was exactly right! I hope you don't mind me sharing...
    Cathy(Annabel's momT18)

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  17. This is great. Hilariously true. Although I prefer that none of us have to experience this, it's nice to see that I'm alone. I hang around several normal special needs parents who have it hard, but a complex child is an entirely different experience. An odd adventure to say the least.

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  18. I sure can identify not with a child but with a hubby ... did all that ........and would do it again if had to ....... hugs to all !!!

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  19. Love it! Each one I was nodding more and more fervently. So I did go back to school to become a med professional (so that I'm no longer "just a mom" in the eyes of insurance, meds, the law ...) and I tell my friends "I am licensed to cure ... but if someone fucks with my kid I could seriously hurt them as well." And we laugh. I think I'm kidding. Hmm. thehorseenabler.wordpress.com

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  20. Just what I needed sitting here in hospital watching Doc try to figure out what wrong. Thanks for laugh. Can identify with all of them

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  21. Been there, done that! Thanks for the laugh...it's reassuring to realize you're not the only one going through this stuff!

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  22. The one meme up there, "I'm not a doctor, but I play one in real life"? I've been using something similar on my daughter's blog for a long time. :) http://eichefam.net/author/paul/

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  23. I relate to the ones about all the deliveries and legitimate pharmacy and the one about being asked how do you do it (well that ones for my Mum) yet I am the one with the special needs.

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  24. This is sooo True! My daughter has had seizures since she was 6mths old (now 19) we have fun names for them because you just can't be serious all the time.
    (tonic = nestea plung) (myoclonic = brain cramps)
    (absence = over the rainbow (somewhere over the rainbow))

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  25. I'm amazed that you connect with so many people. Thanks for lightening their cares. I love you. Mother

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  26. I laughed out loud for too long over this! Hahahaha! Still laughing... This is my life! Thank you!

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  27. Replies
    1. The feeding tube extension is open or becomes unattached and the food gets pumped onto the bed rather than into the gtube/stomach/child. This causes so much more work (changing bed and clothes, bath, making more food, etc)! Ugh. Not to mention catching up with feeds and guessing how much was lost. So frustrating.

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  28. All I can say is that I love you.

    Every one of these things go through my mind daily. It's hilarious to see it in text. And I like that it's hilarious. And that I can get a laugh out if it. # boutthathospitallife #basicallyanurse ��

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  29. Oh the love I have for this post...

    We are beyond the medical/ICU/house-like-a-hospital phase (thank goodness!) but for many years, I could relate so closely with most all of these items! Bed fed sucks! :)

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  30. Ha ha ha - love this. Having just spent the weekend in HDU with my son, I can certainly say this is the perfect list!

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  31. This list is awesome. Truth in every point. I loved the Norm reference! We walk into the hospital, and so many people stop and ask why Lo is there--by name. Crazy!

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  32. Woke up to a "fed floor" once. Angels must keep us from being electrocuted as the feed drips into the power bar!

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  33. You have described me to a T. I have been in each and every situation as recently as yesterday, I told my daughter ok I just need to sleep for 2 hours and then we can go to the Emergency room cause I dont want to fall asleep driving... Ours lives sure are something and the inappropriate humor well that is me for sure

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