Thursday, March 6, 2014

You know you're the parent of a medically fragile child when...

- You get asked at least once a week if you are a nurse.

- You have more medical supplies stockpiled in your house than a third world country.

- You constantly get asked "How do you do it?", and you have no clue either.

- Your neighbors think you have an online shopping problem because of all the boxes of medical supplies that get delivered to your doorstep.

- You feel like Norm from Cheers at the local hospital.

- You could get a job writing appeal letters.

- You have legitimately asked if there is somewhere to "plug in" your kid.

- Your child's "babysitters" must be medically certified in some capacity.

- You can pick out the mistakes in medical scenes on TV, and are familiar with all of the machines and terminology.

- Your friends and family ask you for medical advice.

- You schedule trips to the Emergency Room around things you need to do first.

- Your child's doctors take orders from you.

- You have lost count of the number of hospital stays, surgeries and procedures that your child has had and you don't really care to know.

- Your child's bedroom looks like a mini ICU.

- You've spent more hours Googling procedures, conditions and medical terms than sleeping since your child was born.

- You have woken up to a "fed bed" on numerous occasions.

- You have a legitimate pharmacy in your kitchen.

- You take your child directly to the hospital when they're sick, not the pediatrician.

- You consider two consecutive hours of sleep with no machines alarming a huge win.

Aaaaand, last but not least...

- You have become adept at using inappropriate humor to stay somewhat sane!