Thursday, August 5, 2010

"I don't know how you do it!"

I really wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that! I think most of the time it's meant as a compliment, but sometimes it can feel like pity. Sometimes there is a fine line between pity and empathy - feeling sorry for us versus just feeling for us - and it's an important difference.

I also don't feel like I do anything most moms wouldn't do for their child in the same situation. And I wouldn't trade it. Is it completely overwhelming, emotionally draining and unbelievably exhausting? Well, yeah! But so is motherhood for any mom at times, just more often for us SNPs.

And when I say that I wouldn't trade it, I really do mean it.

I honestly don't wish for Ella Grace to be "normal" but I do pray for her to reach her fullest potential wherever that may be compared to what is considered normal.

I don't want her to have to change who she is for the world, I want the world to change the way it looks at people like her who are different. Just like any other parent, I just want my child to be happy and to feel loved and accepted.

There was a video going around among us SNPs a few months ago about our kids with the following message:

I am...
a blessing.

Don't be sad...
I'm not!

(See the video)

I think that pretty much sums it up. Ella Grace is the happiest person I know, always laughing and smiling. She's not sad and neither am I. As long as she is healthy and I see that smile on her face, all is right with the world.

And while I appreciate the recognition for "being such a good mom" I didn't sign up for this - I wouldn't change it, but I didn't sign up for it. It was assigned to me. God gave us a special child for a reason so I wear my SNP status like a badge of honor and do my best to fulfill the purpose given to me through Ella Grace.


  1. Very touching post. Brought tears to my eyes. No pity, but I do want to say you are a very strong and courageous woman. Ella Grace is lucky to have you!

  2. Well said Suzanne!!!!! Couldn't agree more. Someone said to me today, that it is such a burden to have a special needs child... and that was from a Doctor!!! Wanted to slap him. I wouldn't trade my boy for the world.

  3. Amen sister! I would be a RICH woman if I got paid a buck for everytime I heard it too!

  4. Amen.. I agree with every word you said.. so instead of saying "I don't know how you do it?" I say, "I am so thankful that you have the opportunity to do it!"


Go ahead, let me know what you think! Also feel free to ask questions or recommend a topic.